I have this annoying habit. When I am stressed or anxious I dig the side of my thumb with my index finger. Half the time I dont realize I am stressed or anxious until I wake up in the morning with a deep cut like sliver on my thumb.
That is where I am at. digging at my thumb. Dumb..but true. I'm 26 wks today. One week away from the time I went into Preterm with Bug. I am thinking that he stretched my uterus to the point that my Hannah-Girl will go longer, but at the same time I am so damn uncomfortable.
It's harder to get up. Harder to move around. I have to piss all the time and when I am not I am holding it in which is uncomfortable, but it's such a process to go to the bathroom for just a dribble that it annoys me. So I hold it until a good pee builds up.
I am on meds now for my GD. haven't quite eaten well these past four days. cause I am sleeping/napping to get past this depression I am in. I am just so tired. I dont know if it's my GD that is making me tired, being this pregnant, not sleeping at night, or the depression.
All I want to do is eat shit and smoke. Brilliant right. Of course those coping skills are not an option. Leaving me more down in the mouth. But I can't even sleep cause of having to take damn sugars. I cant take a bath cause I like them boiling hot and well, I can't do that cause of the baby.
Now I feel like a heel cause I'm bitching...I'm always bitching. and I am pregnant, when so many wonderful ladies out there arent.
But, man. I am depressed. I can't even get my act in gear to work on Hannah's room. get ready for her arrival. I have nothing for her. some clothes and a crib that needs to be put together that was Bugs. WTH. why is this pregnancy so different from Bug's emotionally. I was on top of the world. I am not saying I am not thrilled beyond happiness for Hannah. I am just simply....who knows.
But my thumb hurts from being dug all day and night long. habits.