UnicornMommy: It was just a dream

Thursday, May 28, 2009

It was just a dream

Another sleepless night.

I wake up at I dont know when from a dream that I have had before but in a different variety. This time I am not just spotting, but my panties are saturated with bright red blood.

My eyes are now open. I lay awake for hours knowing it's a dream. just a dream. My baby is ok. Do I have to endure this for the next seven months. The innocence of a worry free pregnancy gone in the wind from the beginning.

It's been a long nine weeks. Only 31 weeks to go. Maybe the Baby will let me eat today.

3 comments:

Melis.saMay 28, 2009 at 8:43 AM
((HUGS))

I hope you get to eat today. :)
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TigerMay 28, 2009 at 9:50 AM
I hope you are able to eat today and the bad dreams stop and you start having good dreams. I am praying for you and your little one.
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MaryMay 28, 2009 at 1:42 PM
I'm right there with you. I'm so worried that I can't think straight. Ugh. I hope you get to eat today:)
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Me long Version

Sep 2000: meet the man of my dreams

Feb 2003: I'm woken up in the middle of the night by hubby, then live in boyfriend, who came home from work at ungodly hour and had the urge to ask me to marry him. First I was pissed he woke me up, then I was beyond the moon and wanted to start planning our wedding at 1 AM

Aug 2003: OOPSY we are pregnant.

Oct 2003: 10/4 Good buddy. We have a small (8 guest) wedding a year earlier then planned so I could have Hubby's ins. GOOD THING.

Sept 03-Jan 04: Shoot me. I am sick everyday all day. Someone with a penis dubbed it Morning sickness. what does he know? In and out of hospital for IV drips.

Jan 04: Day before the super bowl...ahhum, Big Game. Not feeling well. Cramping. Think I have the flu. Visiting a friend two hours from home to watch the game. Upset stomach. Wake in middle of the night diarrhea most of the night, then vomiting. Don’t wake up Hubby who had too much to drink. Finally HAVE to wake him up. (he doesn't drink for remainder of pregnancy) Getting sicker. Cramping. No! contractions 27 wks. Big Contractions. 911 called. EMT doesnt like empties. Threatens to take baby if I deliver. Like I am that dumb. Taken to best hospital in the state 30 minutes away. I'm in labor. Deep in labor. At least 18 hrs worth of labor.Not the flu! Pats win the Super Bowl. Labor Finally stopped. bed rest. Told we would never know what caused the preterm.

Feb 04: Home moderate bed rest.

March 04: Invirsion (sp?) to try to turn our baby. Nope. He likes where he is. Asked what I wanted his bday to be. 04-04-04. wouldn’t that have been cool. Told that was too early. Not sure what date was picked. Labor 3-28-04. Nurses didn’t believe me. First time mother and all. HA. I told them we had already had a trial run. Still not believe until morning when I gasp and roll into a ball in yet another contraction. Emergency C-Section. Birthdate 3/29/09 what do dr. know anyways. lol. 3.5 wks early Bug is born. 7.2 LBS. He is perfect.

Dec 06: OOPS again. BFP! Close to Christmas, I am going to wait a few weeks to tell Hubby. Best xmas gift ever. Making plans on how to tell him. Fun gift basket of baby items, maybe. Before I could tell him. M/C Three days before my bday. day after my nephew was born. Seven days before Xmas.

Aug. 08: Decide to TTC for real.

Oct. 08: BFP. only three months into trying. two days after stick test, m/c. don't go to see dr. Is this really happening again.

Nov 08: After mourning finally go to OB. she says probably chemical pregnancy. sends us to RE.

Jan 09: Finally had consultation with RE. Long wait. Only RE in the state. 45 min from home

Feb 09 and March 09: Test, test and more tests. Things done to my vagina that should never have to be done. 15 vials of blood drawn. I like my RE.

March 09: Results. R UU. & MTHFR. WTH. WTH. WTH. Answers to Bugs pregnancy difficulties. HA. OB. You were wrong. I do know why Bug's pregnancy was difficult. next step... good ole fashion S.E.X. plus. Folbee and 81 Mg of Baby Aspirin.

Waiting for cycle so we can start t.t.c.