Thursday, April 23, 2009

another bad dream

when will it end. This is the third nightmare I have had where I am losing the baby. It's going to be along pregnancy if this is what I have to deal with on a nightly basis.

I am not so scared during the day, ok maybe I am, but not mind consuming. Weird twinges or sharp pains make me nervous.

I'm getting to the point where I feel like crap all the time. I am exhausted to the point I can't function and when I am up I feel so icky that all I want to do is lay down.

I told hubby tonight he needs to scrub around and in the toilet, because like Bug's pregnancy I have the feeling I will be spending a lot of time there. Bug even offered to help put the scrubby thing on the toilet wand. whatta sweetie.

And it totally doesnt make sense that I am up at one in the morning when I am so damn tired.

So how do I explain to Bug that I dont have the flu. He thinks he is going to get my sickness. Like he gave Daddy his. We dont feel comfortable telling him this early that I am pregnant. For two reasons.

1. He wont understand if we lose the baby. He would be devastated.
2. It would be a long 9 months with (are we there yet like comments)when is the baby coming.

So how do I explain how miserable I am feeling and how tired I am. He is a compassionate boy. He wants me to feel better.

last night he mixed up a concoction in the bathroom sink and told me that it was soup to help me feel better. He was nice enough to use my only toothbrush as the stirrer and then give me his spider man toothbrush to replace it.

I dont want him to think I am sick all the time. Our cat Sophie threw up a hairball this evening. Bug was so worried about her. I dont want to cause him any anxiety.

Alrighty then. I am going to head back to bed and re-read this tomorrow and it will look like I wrote it in a drunken stooper from my college days. Cant wait.


  1. I would just tell him mommy feels yuckie but he can not catch it. Then tell him mommy loves him and seeing him smile is the best medicine he can give mommy. :) So keep smiling at mommy and mommy will feel good. :)

    You are awesome and I am sure you will tell him what you think best for him. :) I am praying for you :)

  2. I agree with Jennifer. Poor Bug, he just wants his mommy to feel better!

  3. I'm sorry you keep having those dreams :( Maybe after the ultrasound you be able to sleep better at night. I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions for Bug. Whatever you decide will work just fine, you are a terrific mom!

  4. I'm sorry you're feeling so crummy and hope it gets better soon.

    Maybe you can tell your son not to worry because sometimes Mommies get a special kind of Mommy sickness that cannot be caught by little boys or Daddies or kitty cats, and that Mommy sickness will get better all on its own, so he shouldn't worry about you.

    Remind him, in a very casual, matter-of-fact sort of way, that people and pets and even plants get sick sometimes but then they get better. You might also have him participate in helping you feel better...maybe he could wet a wash cloth and put it to your forehead, of course after which you sigh with great relief.

    Hoping the best!


  5. What a sweet boy! I lost my daughter in February and I do great during the day, but at night before I fall asleep I get very sad. Hate it. Helps that the day is busy. Sending prayers your way that your pregnancy will "stick!"