Tuesday, April 21, 2009

guilt and a video.

I dont know how to express how I am feeling right now.

I feel so lucky to have become pregnant after only trying for, ironically, 9 months. But at the same time I feel awful about it. There are so many of you out there that dont even have one child. And here I am pregnant again.

I know it hasnt been easy for me. Those of you who have followed my blog know this as well. The heartache of losing my two angel babies. The difficulty with Bug's pregnancy.

But at the same time I want all you to experience the joys of the double line. Holding your baby in your arms. So even in my moment, I want you all to know I continue to pray for you. I know I am not out of the woods yet, but I just feel so guilty...why me and not you...

I stole this from Mary's blog.

I was weeping from the start.


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9 comments:

  1. AnonymousApril 21, 2009 at 5:22 PM

    I know what you mean. My best friend since I was 12 lost her babies at 20 weeks when we were both pregnant last year and since she's just suffered from m/c and suspected IF. It's so unfair that people who want babies and who are obviously amazing parents can't get there. It makes me feel tremendously guilty. And that video? GET THE TISSUES!


    iclw

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  2. AnonymousApril 21, 2009 at 5:51 PM

    I know how you feel. I sometimes feel guilty for getting pregnant, even though it took me a year the first time, and then I miscarried. So, now that I am pregnant again, I sometimes find myself trying to clamp down on my joy. I don't want to loose any of my bloggy friends!

    Here from ICLW

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  3. Beth KyleApril 21, 2009 at 7:48 PM

    I listened to that song over and over again when I first heard it....
    - ICLW

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  4. GeekByMarriageApril 21, 2009 at 7:53 PM

    I cry every time I see that video. I think of my Mom, my SIL, and my cousins who struggled for so long.

    - ICLW

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  5. AnonymousApril 21, 2009 at 8:49 PM

    jeez louise, don't feel bad for your good fortune, that's not helping anybody! as someone who has no children after almost two years of trying, i want you to know that i am very happy for you! it doesn't sound like your path was much easier than mine has been, maybe even harder, you deserve this pregnancy!
    iclw

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  6. StacieApril 21, 2009 at 8:56 PM

    I cry when I see this video, too. Every single time.

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  7. AnonymousApril 21, 2009 at 9:00 PM

    I totally love this song .. it really captures how I feel about infertility even though I'm not TTC I've wanted to be a mum forever.

    You shouldn't feel guilty for getting pregnant ..you deserve it just as much as anyone of us I'm thrilled for you !

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  8. oklaln86April 21, 2009 at 9:39 PM

    Marley and Me was really good and well made. It was sad tho... so there's your warning! I had to go to bed at the end of it because I just couldn't watch!

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  9. CeceApril 22, 2009 at 9:12 AM

    Here from ICLW -

    I know what you are talking about. I manage to get pregnant after 4 years with IVF... and when I found myself pregnant again with TWINS this month... I just don't know what to say. Maybe when it rains it pours? But congrats to you!

    ReplyDelete

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