same old same old..pity party

so I want to write a new post that is bright and sunny and full of hope and all that shit, but really nothing new.

I am waiting on the 2ww to pass. It's been slower then past months.

I am in a real bad space.

Havent showered since Saturday. Havent washed my hair since friday. My hair hurts it's so greasy. yeah I am sounding really gross. it is. I have to wash my sheets because of my own stench. ok. I am embarassed. totally not me. I'm obsessed with showering. what I really want to do is soak in the tub. But that is out of the question.

I want to work out, again out of the question.

I want to WORK. No one is calling me back.

I just ran out of steam.....

more on my pity party later.