Wednesday, April 29, 2009


I'm feeling so bloated. My bra's dont fit. My shirts are too small in the front. I'm too early to be showing. but just enough bloat to be uncomfortable. I'm significantly larger then I was with Bug's pregnancy. I thought I had more time to get healthy before becoming pregnant. (I'll explain the weight gain in the future, not now.)

It's been months and months of trying. I'm surprised that it finally happened. Although I wanted the BFP, I thought I had more time to get healthier. I feel guilty now b/c it's going to be an uncomfortable pregnancy due to my size. I hope it doesn't become a health problem for the baby.

Tomorrow is my ultra sound. I'm anxious to hear what they have to say. I'm still getting a shooting pain on left side when I move just right. This could be either the strained ligament or the ovarian cyst. Or something else altogether.

I need to learn to not freak out with every weird feeling. It's so hard when I am so sensitive about carrying to term. It's as if I am almost too scared to believe it will happen this time. It doesn't feel real yet. Stupid. I want to tell my family. maybe then it will feel real. But hubby still wants to keep it under wraps. I pushed him by telling our close circle of friends.

big sigh. I hate being scared all the time. Like I am afraid to breath. If I hold my breath everything will be ok.


  1. My ligament pain has been much worse this time around. Supposedly, that is more common than not for #2. I also had a friend with a cyst on her ovary that burst and she was in so much pain until it disolved. I hope you can find some relief in the next few days! Looking forward to news from the u/s!!

  2. I hope the u/s tomorrow can alleviate some of your worries by showing a dancing little bean! :) Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

  3. You have my prayers :)
    It is hard not to worry when we have been threw so much.